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Description: A blog about all things to help any individual reach their full potential!
It has been quite a while since my last post. There have been quite a few ups and downs along the way that I've been sort of dreading writing about. However, I'm putting my big girl pants on and now I am ready to share.
As many of you know, Eric and I have been going through the adoption process for over a year now. We had our hearts set on adopting a sibling group (the one I've written about before) but we ended up not being a match for them and everything fell through. It's extremely heart breaking to build up all this excitement and anticipation only to have it ripped away. Not to mention how unbelievably cruel some people can be when delivering the news. Even though it was a very sad point in our lives, both Eric and I knew that God had something in store for us and we just needed to remain patient.
A few weeks later, I answered a call about a young girl who was coming up for adoption. Even though we were a perfect match, it could be up to another year before her parental rights would be terminated. We were told that it would be a waiting game and there was a good chance that someone (a family member) could come out of the woodwork and take over. While Eric and I wanted to keep optimistic, we decided we needed to keep our options and hearts open.
A few weeks later, another call comes in, Eric answers and I can tell by the look on his face that its good news. A baby boy, 1 year old, has become available and they want to meet with us to see if we would be a good match. Deep down we wanted to be excited, but we were hesitant to show that excitement because of our last experience. So we waited for our match meeting and from there we waited another week to hear the final word. Our case worker calls to say that we have been accepted and that everything will be finished within a month.
The following month was quite a journey, filled with visits, doctor appointments, fun days and tears of joy (and sadness as we had to leave him). We all formed a bond quite quickly and couldn't wait until the day he could come home permanently.
Finally, Caden came home. It's been over 2 weeks now and he's such a joy. We've been so blessed to have him in our lives and I'm amazed at how truly easy it is to love our baby. Even though the road to parenthood wasn't easy, in the end it was so very much worth it and I wouldn't have changed a thing about it. God is so very good!
God bless you all!
Love, mommy Leah
The moment I have been waiting for since as long as I can remember will soon be here. You see I’ve always known that God put me on this earth to be a wife and a mother and I’ve gratefully accepted that position and I take those roles very seriously. I love it – it’s part of who I am!
Just like God prepared me for marriage and motherhood, He also gave me a passion for adoption. For as long as I can remember, I’ve known that I was going to adopt a child. I didn’t know where from, or when, but I knew I would. I was very upfront about this before Eric and I got engaged (5 years ago this February). I remember saying to him, “Now listen, I’d marry you tomorrow because I love you that much and I’ll work the rest of my life to make you happy but there are a few things you’ll need to know and accept first. I will always respect my husband and I expect the same respect in return, I also expect a marriage to be a lifelong partnership and while I do not oppose having children naturally, my heart desires to adopt at least one child, when the time is right.” Eric and I weren’t shy about telling each other what we needed and that’s a major reason why our relationship works so well. We are upfront with how we feel and we work to make each other happy!
Eric and I tossed around the idea of having children naturally for a few years. There are so many factors that weigh in on that decision – so many factors that are beyond our control. What we were 100% sure of is that we wanted children, we were ready and that we’d love whatever child (disabled or not) that God blessed us with. So we compromised. After many prayers and discussions, we decided we’d adopt first and let God decide whether we’d have children naturally from there. So now here we are…only months away from bringing 2 (yes, two) children home!
I have so many thoughts, so many feelings, and so many things left to do! It’s funny how your mind and habits automatically change as you approach parenthood. The house is now child-proof, Eric and I are both doing different things to insure that we are healthier and now before we make any huge decisions we ask ourselves “how will this work with kids…” I’ve kept busy creating our family story book and I’ve had a blast picking out various things to place in each of the kids rooms. It’s been a long and exciting road.
My hope is to share our experiences with others who are struggling with the same issues we’ve dealt with. The bottom line is that it doesn’t matter which path you choose as long as it’s a path that you truly feel good about. We can not control everything and sometimes that’s a good thing!
In the coming months I’ll post more about our road to parenthood – the ups and downs. And of course, once everything is finalized I’ll post photos too.
Grace, Love and Peace,
Ahleah
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Thank you so much! The adoption process has been a year in the making (and still counting) for us. Even though it seems long, it's went by faster than we though - and of course as we approach parenthood - it gets even more exciting. So all in all its worth the wait. I hope to do a few more posts about the specifics, including the ups and downs we've experienced. Hopefully you'll check back to learn more! Thank you again.
02/08/08 02:02:03 pm
Congratulations as well on the two new additions to your family. May God bless your everyday. I can't wait for photos! Was the adoption process taxing? I still don't know what the future holds for myself in the future in terms of children. So, any incite into the whole adoption process will be nice to know. Again all the best!
02/07/08 02:02:14 pm
Aww...thank you for the prayers and sweet comments!
02/06/08 06:02:07 pm
Congradulations! Praying that the road won't be too bumpy and that the children will be as amazed with you as we are!
02/06/08 04:02:34 pm
Eric’s losing his cool – another moment of weakness that’s got the best of him. “Hunny, it’s not that big of a deal, sometimes things just fall,” I said. Truth is, it was like the 7th paper he’d dropped because it was a “weak day” and the frustration was building up from each paper that fell. Lucky number 7- broke the camels back - it was just one too many for Eric. On this day, his strength just didn’t align with his need to help and be productive. My heart sank as I looked at him and the reality of his condition hit home, once again. After a few moments of silence, he said to me, “I’m sorry… I tried to hold on, it just didn’t happen. It’s just so frustrating.”
Well, I already knew he was frustrated by that time. And you know, I won’t lie it is hard to be on the receiving end of frustration but I cope by remembering the pain he’s feeling when he gets fed up. I remember the true things behind that frustration and somehow at that moment my focus is on being strong for him.
So many people ask me how I do it. The truth is we do it for each other. Giving grace isn’t always easy but sometimes necessary. There are days when I wake up on the wrong side of the bed and Eric has to be the strong one. I will pick up a thousand papers a day and not complain because I know if given the chance; he’d do the same for me. A true love goes deeper than that, it isn’t about keeping score on what I do for him or what he does for me – it isn’t even about picking up papers. It’s about loving each other no matter what especially through frustrating times.
No one’s relationship is perfect and no doubt certain circumstances make keeping a healthy relationship that much harder. I’ve learned that marriage is and always will be something two people have to work at. Failed marriages usually start when one person stops working. So Eric and I consider ourselves workaholics in that sense!
So maybe today is a bad day – perhaps tomorrow will be too – but it is what we make it and the more support we give and receive the easier it will be to breath and just let it go.
So you've learned how I deal with being on the receiving end of frustration. I'd love to read how you get through frustrating times. Post a comment and tell us what it is that helps you "let it go"!
Grace, Love and Peace
Ahleah
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You always inspire me with your writing. What a well written entry about a subject that truly hits home.
01/24/08 02:01:26 pm
Wow, you weren't kidding about "perfect" concentration! I agree with you, meditation techniques definitely help with focusing and calming your spirit. Thanks for sharing!
01/24/08 09:01:51 am
I get frustrated when I drop things too. The first thing I drop, not so much. However, the upteenth item I drop in a few minutes. ARGH!!!
Same problem happens when I forget to do things like turn on the microwave after I put food in it, then forget to change the channel of the tv after I turn it on, then forget why I am in the kitchen in the first place.
To combat physical and mental frustration, I slow down my activities and concentrate on the single action I am trying to accomplish this second. This requires PERFECT concentration. I let everyone around me know I am having problems and to not bother me. I then work through each step.
For carrying or holding items.
1) I grab the item and slowly place it in the best position so that it will least likely slip.
2) I then concentrate on how the object feels in that position and memorize it.
3) I then move to the location the item needs to go. The item must keep the same feeling as in 2. If the items feeling changes, I stop and rearrange until it equals 2 again.
4) When I get to my destination, I concentrate on slowly depositing my item to its destination. Once the item is at its destination, you can then interact with other people again.
Basically, it is important to ignore external input when trying to do a challenging task. Easier said than done. I do recommend learning some kind of meditation technique. It makes concentration challenges easier.
01/23/08 06:01:35 pm
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Bless you in your new role as parents! It's going to be quite an adventure for you! Enjoy every moment!
06/06/08 05:06:24 pm